Alt Text:
a blue blob in hiding lifts a box that asks, "Is it safe to come out?"
Backstory:
I suppose it's fitting that this song's tune came pouring out of me today while grieving the loss of a beloved family member. (Though the two have nothing to do with one another.)
When I first wrote the song it was about a different type of grief. The grief of dealing with past (mostly verbal) abuse that once gnawed at my sense of self and left me voiceless.
Most of the stanzas are pretty self explanatory, but how do I explain what it means to consistently be and feel silenced?
Writers are expected to write using their 'voice', but how does one find their 'voice' while living under an umbrella (internal and/or external) of "don't say that", "you don't know what you're saying", and "don't write the wrong thing or you'll end up in trouble".
In a strange twist and with a lot of loving support, writing helped me find my voice and in turn, my long lost confidence. May you never lose either, or the knowledge of who you are!
Suppression of my mind
In the fists of your sedation
On a nervous system kind
Until you pick apart my patience.
​
Where are you my confidence?
Why are you so quiet?
Why is duck tape across your lips?
Where is your voice, voice...
Don't Speak
​
Yell!
Yell until your heart bleeds red,
And your face turns blue,
Cuz all of the-all of the world
Belongs to you too.
Yell!
Until the void bursts open
Serving you compassion
Not another...
​
Gaslighter on my heels
Your behavior is surreal
How am I the one insane
When your kindness feels like hell.
​
Where are you my confidence?
Why are you so quiet?
Why can you defend everyone
But not my voice, voice...
Don't Speak
​
Yell!
Yell until your heart bleeds red,
and your face turns blue,
cuz all of the-all of the world
belongs to you too.
Yell!
Until the void bursts open
Serving you compassion
Not another...
​
Bruise for my bag of traumas
I've no interest in collecting
Or sharing them with others
For your cliques and entertainment.
​
Where are you my confidence?
Why are you so quiet?
I promise you're not arrogance
Speak up your mind, mind...
Don't be silent
​
While you still have a voice
While you still have time
Yell until your heart bleeds red,
and your face turns blue,
cuz all of the-all of the world
belongs to you too.
Yell!
Until the void bursts open
Serving you compassion
Yell! (whispered)